Showing posts with label restlessness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label restlessness. Show all posts

Monday, November 30, 2009

Double Standards


Unquestioningly I expect,
and would be offended
if I didn't get,
your absolute belief
in what I tell you.
When I say how I feel,
you should see truth.

No doubts, no reservations
or misgivings.
Absolute confidence,
absolute certainty.
I expect nothing less
when I lay myself on the line...
open my life's book
to the chapter of my heart.

And on my part,
I find,
much to my own disappointment,
that I do not return the favor
in kind.

I am the place where "I love you"
meets the arched eyebrow,
and "I miss you"
encounters "Oh yeah??"
*side-eye*

I am the contradictory ground
where saying what I mean
meets skepticism
of what I hear,
failing to believe.

And I know it sounds cliche,
but I'm gonna say it anyway,
it's all me,
and not you.

There's no reason for disbelief
based upon reality...
but in my mind,
dangerous ground.

That's the place
where the arguments thrive,
between myself and I.
Where, "I love you,"
meets "right....why?"
Where, "I only wanna be with you,"
meets "Until something better comes along."
Where "You're beautiful,"
and "He's full of it,"
battle it out for days.
And days
and days....

I'm careful, though,
not to let it show
on the outside.
Regardless of the battle
raging on the inside,
I bluff.

Conceal the doubt,
and insecurity.
I am covert in the questions
plaguing me.
Allow nothing to show.
A confident front
for you to see.

Only that
and a demand
for your confidence in me.





Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Changing the Rules


I knew how it was in the beginning
Everything explained and understood.
I agreed to the rules in the beginning
Ain't no fair trynna change shit now.

But I'm finding out the hard way,
what I agreed to abide by in theory
is a hell of a lot harder in actuality,
is a hell of a lonely road.

And I wanna change the rules,
make new rules,
destroy the rules,
screw the rules!

I don't want to be the quietly
meekly
humbly
homebound
homebody
waiting
watching
never complaining
never exploding
never feeling
anything....

Can we change the rules?

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