Tuesday, June 23, 2009

On Love

Because you know the right thing to say,
and because you don't have to say a thing.
Because you can tell what I feel, and already know what I think.
Because the yours are the arms I need when the world just ain't right.
Because of the way you make that precious time.
Because when we met, I felt something click.
Because you felt it, too. No shit.
Because you help me be something more than I am.
That's why I love you. Just because, man.


When I was one,
It was easy to please me.
Now I am two,
Me the mama and you
My little man.
Answers that came easy,
accountable only to me,
Now escape me,
Because of you,
I am now two.
My first thought
what is right for us.
Don't think "me" much.
And that's how it should be...
Now, though, the two
are on the brink of three.
And is that right for two?
Proceeding slowly, we shall see.

No good can come....

I've got no business feelin this thrill every time I hear your step down the hall...
The steady stride, the confidence in the step, I don't even have to look up to know who approaches, the hair on the back of my neck tells me who...

and whoooo... I feel it in the electricity that suddenly fills the room....

and you got no business lookin at me like that, or puttin that tone in your voice, or touchin my arm as you pass.... with five feet of room on every side... but you're playin the game coz it feeds your ego... and I'm playin along coz you're fine... and

you know I'm lustin for you, and you know I got a man that I love... and I know I'm lustin for you, and I know I got a man that I love....
And we both know that no good can come of it if I join you for a friendly drink... coz drinks can get too friendly, if you know what I mean...

So let's just leave it alone. I'll take my lust on home... and you can keep your satisfied belief that a little more effort could get you there too.

Changing the Rules

I knew how it was in the beginning
Everything explained and understood.
I agreed to the rules in the beginning
Ain't no fair trynna change shit now.

But I'm finding out the hard way,
what I agreed to abide by in theory
is a hell of a lot harder in actuality,
is a hell of a lonely road.

And I wanna change the rules,
make new rules,
destroy the rules,
screw the rules!

I don't want to be the quietly
never complaining
never exploding
never feeling

Can we change the rules?

The Priority List

You love me, do ya?
I don't doubt that you do.
but these nights and days alone waiting on you
get older and colder with each one that passes

You need me, do ya?
I believe that you do.
but how much? and why? when I spend
all this time at home on my own, lonely

You got me on lock, do ya?
well..... only because I choose.
but you're not the only one who can see
there's something here to be valued

So a suggestion, while you're on the road,
rollin the wheels to go spin those wheels,
maybe I deserve a bump up.
Maybe you better check how you're handlin' business
at home
maybe it's time to take the road that leads to the door
that opens on me.

And maybe you need to rearrange those priorities a little.
I know what you're working for, and I share the dream.
but when you achieve it, it could be without me.
Coz I ain't even on the list.
The bouncer won't even let me in...

And see....
I'm not even asking to be number one.
I just wanna make the list.
Just want you to show that love,
Just let me know you want me there,
waiting to open the door that opens on me.
Keeping the porch light on.

Is that club gonna hold you when you're lonely?
Is that turntable gonna listen when you got something to say?
Is that promoter gonna give a damn when the world is weighing heavy?

Coz I am.
If you let me.
Just put me on the list.
Make the door that opens on me
the next stop on your itinerary.

I've put in my time waiting, wishing, wondering, wanting.
I've paid the dues in minutes, hours and days.
I've put patience past its limit,
I've given you all the support and love and trust I can extend.
You've exceeded your credit,
time to make a deposit.
Just put me on the list.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

No poetry.... just some stuff I thunked....

The sweetest sound in the world... "Mama, I love you." Said for no good reason.
The ugliest sound in the world... the sound of suctioning respiratory secretions (there's a reason I'm a nurse and not a respiratory therapist!).

The easiest thing in the world for me to do.... fall asleep in church!
The hardest thing in the world for me to do.... make my brain shut up so I can fall asleep at night.

The thing I wish I did better.... parent.
The thing I think I do pretty well.... parent.

The reason for this post... coz I can't make my brain shut up so I can fall asleep!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Legs Like Lead

They started at 4 am and carried me down the stairs.
At 6 am they carried me out the door.
At 20 til 7 they carried me in another door.

Then they moved me about my day.
To one place where I gave nourishment,
and another where I gave hope,
and another where I gave healing,
and another where I shared grief,
and another where I gathered information,
and another where I helped,
and countless others where I did countless things,
and they did not stop,
because there was no time to stop.

And then it was 20 til 7 again--
how did that happen?
And they carried me to a chair.
And I told someone else about my day,
the things given, and done, and shared, and learned,
so they could take the next leg of the race...

and they carried me out the door,
and in another door,
and now my leaden legs are carrying me up the stairs,
to slumber,
so they can race again tomorrow.

*crafted after a long, busy day.... any one relate?*

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Meeting Mom

I posted this originally last nite on Black Woman Lost & Found, NaturallyAlise's poetry blog. She hosts a Blog Poetry Slam on Tuesdays (well, Wednesday this week). Her topic this week was "Dreams," and it unlocked some deep stuff for me. I'm semi happy with the poem. I may take another shot at it and refine it a little. I don't usually write and transcribe when I post to the Slam... I just pull up the comment box and go. Anyhoo..... here it is. I think I may have peeled away the first layer of the dam blocking my poejo flow! *poetry mojo... hey Maxine!*
Let me know what you think...

Slumber summons, and I respond.
I take my nightly pilgrimage to the Land of Nod.
Never knowing who I might meet, but always hoping you'll come to me.

Somewhere in that space between Heaven and Earth,
I long for the womb that gave me birth.
Disappointmens, missed appointments and fruitless search.

Night after night, I pray,
to feel Mamma's hands
on my face.

When there are things on my heart no one will understand but you.
When I need to hear grounding words of truth.
When I need the comfort only a mother's touch can hold.
When my hopes wane, and the world seems cold.

So often waking to face another day of your absence,
and the pain gets so old,
but never lessens.

But the rare encounters in the Land of Dreams
make the pilgrimage worth the journey.
We laugh, and cry, and love
and talk it all out over coffee.

And when the parting comes, I wake with tears on my face.
I know I'll try again,
to find you, to see you, to be your child
in the space between Earth and Heaven.

ugh...soooo sappy... Just read The Lovely Bones n been missing my Mom... oh well, it is what it is.

June 3, 2009 1:25 AM


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