Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts

Monday, November 30, 2009

Double Standards


Unquestioningly I expect,
and would be offended
if I didn't get,
your absolute belief
in what I tell you.
When I say how I feel,
you should see truth.

No doubts, no reservations
or misgivings.
Absolute confidence,
absolute certainty.
I expect nothing less
when I lay myself on the line...
open my life's book
to the chapter of my heart.

And on my part,
I find,
much to my own disappointment,
that I do not return the favor
in kind.

I am the place where "I love you"
meets the arched eyebrow,
and "I miss you"
encounters "Oh yeah??"
*side-eye*

I am the contradictory ground
where saying what I mean
meets skepticism
of what I hear,
failing to believe.

And I know it sounds cliche,
but I'm gonna say it anyway,
it's all me,
and not you.

There's no reason for disbelief
based upon reality...
but in my mind,
dangerous ground.

That's the place
where the arguments thrive,
between myself and I.
Where, "I love you,"
meets "right....why?"
Where, "I only wanna be with you,"
meets "Until something better comes along."
Where "You're beautiful,"
and "He's full of it,"
battle it out for days.
And days
and days....

I'm careful, though,
not to let it show
on the outside.
Regardless of the battle
raging on the inside,
I bluff.

Conceal the doubt,
and insecurity.
I am covert in the questions
plaguing me.
Allow nothing to show.
A confident front
for you to see.

Only that
and a demand
for your confidence in me.





Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The Priority List


You love me, do ya?
I don't doubt that you do.
but these nights and days alone waiting on you
get older and colder with each one that passes

You need me, do ya?
I believe that you do.
but how much? and why? when I spend
all this time at home on my own, lonely

You got me on lock, do ya?
well..... only because I choose.
but you're not the only one who can see
there's something here to be valued

So a suggestion, while you're on the road,
rollin the wheels to go spin those wheels,
maybe I deserve a bump up.
Maybe you better check how you're handlin' business
at home
maybe it's time to take the road that leads to the door
that opens on me.

And maybe you need to rearrange those priorities a little.
I know what you're working for, and I share the dream.
but when you achieve it, it could be without me.
Coz I ain't even on the list.
The bouncer won't even let me in...
metaphorically...

And see....
I'm not even asking to be number one.
I just wanna make the list.
Just want you to show that love,
Just let me know you want me there,
waiting to open the door that opens on me.
Keeping the porch light on.


Is that club gonna hold you when you're lonely?
Is that turntable gonna listen when you got something to say?
Is that promoter gonna give a damn when the world is weighing heavy?

Coz I am.
If you let me.
Just put me on the list.
Make the door that opens on me
the next stop on your itinerary.

I've put in my time waiting, wishing, wondering, wanting.
I've paid the dues in minutes, hours and days.
I've put patience past its limit,
I've given you all the support and love and trust I can extend.
You've exceeded your credit,
time to make a deposit.
Just put me on the list.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Our Colors

our colors

sometimes i wonder about you
and me
and us

sometimes it feels like i never had another home
and sometimes if feels like i don't know what home is
or where

sometimes is most times, really
when i wonder about colors
and cultures
and families
and friends
and trends
and what if

and i make myself crazy
until my heart can hear yours
and i don't care who thinks what
or says what
or how they look at us
or if they turn away from us
or if they speak
or if they don't
or any of that

i just know that i feel what i feel
know what i know
believe what i believe
accept what i accept
understand what i understand
and love whom i love

ac apr 3, 01

The Birth of a Blog

Ok, so here's the thing, because of Miss Alise over at Black Woman Lost & Found I have rediscovered my love for writing poetry. Now, I don't claim to be a great poet. But dammit, I try. So the format of this blog will probably evolve over time. But for now, I'm just gonna post something I wrote years ago, and I would love for anyone who reads to respond with poetry of their own, comments, critiques, stories or just random impressions.... I love random!

inevitable intangible


trying to believe in what i can't see
hard for me

trying to have faith in what i feel
you feel

you feelin' me?

can you climb to my vista?
see what i see?

how hard it is for me?
to forget what i can't see
trust what i feel
accept what you tell me?

how do you prove it's there
when it's intangible?
demonstrate its existence
when it's invisible?

how do you know what it is
when you can't
measure, examine, define?

especially when
(like me)
you've been so wrong before?

yet, i'm sure.
yes, i'm sure.

and you?
i know what i have,
do you?
can you name it?
lay claim to it?
call it by name?

is it in your nature
to nurture such a thing?
to watch it grow
and change?

possibly have your
world rearranged?

are you sure?

ac apr 17. 01

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